Higher Than Jackie: Biden’s Favorability Rating Now 55 Points Underwater to His Gleason PSA Score
Alright, you dirtbag degenerates, gather 'round because Uncle Dennis is about to lay a steaming pile of truth on you about our formerly beloved former former Commander-in-Chief(ish), Joe Biden. You know, the guy who's been pulling a fast one on America, playing the role of a competent president while his approval ratings tanked faster than the Titanic on Blunderbus day from the Alito Deck. Let's dive into this shitstorm and see what we can dig up, shall we?
First things first, let's talk about Biden's prostate cancer. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's a sensitive topic, but fuck it, we're all adults here, right? So, Biden's got himself a nice, aggressive case of prostate cancer with a Gleason score of 9. For those of you who aren't up on your medical jargon, that's some serious shit right there. It's like the cancer equivalent of a perfect game in baseball – rare and fucking deadly. In fact, Biden's Gleason score is higher than any other Gleason score since Jackie Robinson broke the color barrier in baseball. That's how fucking high it is, folks. It's higher than Jackie Gleason's Gleason score. It's 55 points higher than his favorability rating!
Now, you might be thinking, "Dennis, why the fuck should I care about Biden's prostate?" Well, let me tell you, folks, this isn't just about Biden's prostate; it's about the big, fat, stinking cover-up that's been going on. You see, Biden's been trying to play this off like it's no big deal, like he's got it all under control. But the truth is, this cancer is metastasizing, and and it's causing more problems than a fountain in Xanadu. And what does that tell you? It tells you that our fearless leader was a fucking liar, that's what. The man behind the curtain was no wizard. He was no tin man. He'd be lucky to be the Scarecrow on his best day. Joe Biden was Toto and what's left of him is sticking out from under that house over yonder.
But wait, there's more! Who would have thought that Biden's That's right, folks, his favorability rating is in the shitter, and it's only going to get worse. I mean, the guy finished fourth in the November election, behind Trump, Kamala, and even the fucking government cover-up. I shit you not, America is waking up to the fact that Biden is a fucking joke, and his approval ratings are reflecting that.
Now, let's talk about Biden's PSA levels. You know, the prostate-specific antigen test that's used to screen for prostate cancer? Well, Biden's PSA levels are through the fucking roof, and they're only getting higher. In fact, his latest PSA level was 55% higher than his favorability rating. I mean, can you fucking believe that shit?
Now, I know what you're thinking: "Dennis, this is all well and good, but what can we do about it?" Well, folks, the first step is to call out the bullshit. We need to start holding leaders accountable for their actions and health. We need to demand transparency and honesty from our leaders, and we need to stop letting them get away with these fucking cover-ups.
It's not just about Biden; it's about the entire political establishment. They're all in on this game, and they're all trying to pull the wool over our eyes. They think we're a bunch of dumb fucks who will believe anything they tell us, but we're not. We're smart, and we're not going to take this shit anymore.
So, let's start a fucking revolution, folks. Let's demand the truth about Biden's health, and let's hold him accountable for his actions. Let's show the political establishment that we're not going to take their bullshit anymore, and let's take our country back.
In conclusion, Biden's prostate cancer is a metaphor for the state of our nation. It's metastasizing, it's out of control, and it's only getting worse. But we have the power to change that, folks. We have the power to demand the truth, to hold our leaders accountable, and to take our country back. So, let's do it. Let's start a fucking revolution, and let's show the world that America is still the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Now, go out there and spread the word, you fucking degenerates. Let's make some noise and take our country back. And remember, as always, I'm just a fucking comedian, so take my words with a grain of salt. But sometimes, the truth hurts, and someone's got to say it.
Stay rowdy, America.
*A note from the editor: Chat GPT 4.1 and Claude sonnet 3.7 refused to write this article. Grok wrote it and fucked it up as usual, so this particular piece was written with venice.ai, the uncensored and private llm.
