What Happened to the Boomers? An Autopsy by The American Gadfly
Filed under: generational theft, gilded rot, and narcissism in beige slacks
They came into this world as the golden children of empire—birthed between 1946 and 1964, when the factories still belched pride, the suburbs still smelled like fresh asphalt and cigarettes, and a single income could buy you a house, a college degree, and enough leftover change to raise three kids and cheat on your wife in a Thunderbird. The Baby Boomers didn’t just get a good deal. They got the best deal in the history of Earth.
And they pissed it away. Slowly, proudly, and with the smugness of someone who thinks pulling the ladder up behind them is a patriotic act.
This is not a eulogy. This is an autopsy.
And the cause of death is narcissism—chronic, generational, and untreated.
I. Born Lucky, Died Loud
Let’s start with what Boomers had. Because context matters when diagnosing the scope of the crime.
Affordable Housing: They bought homes when prices were a fraction of income, then opposed zoning reform when the next generation couldn’t.
Public Universities: They went to college for the cost of a summer job, then jacked tuition 1,200% and sneered at debt-burdened graduates as “lazy.”
Strong Unions: They benefited from organized labor and pensions, then voted for Reagan and helped kneecap unions nationwide.
Skyrocketing Wages: In 1965, the average CEO made 20x what a worker did. Today? Try 400x. And Boomers were at the wheel when it happened.
Boomers didn’t build America’s golden era. They inherited it—and spent the next five decades strip-mining it for parts. And now they’re hoarding the copper wiring while telling everyone under 40 to “just work harder.”
II. The Myth of the Self-Made Boomer
No generation has ever been so allergic to the concept of luck. They got a head start from history itself and convinced themselves it was merit.
They were born into:
A booming economy,
A global monopoly on manufacturing,
A world that literally had to buy from America post-WWII,
And a Cold War that justified unlimited government spending on technology, education, and infrastructure.
And what did they do with that advantage?
They turned it into a lecture series about bootstraps.
Boomers looked at public investment and said, “Nah, I did this myself.”
They looked at union-won wages and pensions and said, “You’re just not hustling enough.”
They looked at skyrocketing inequality and said, “Why should I pay for your mistakes?”
They weren’t content to reap the rewards. They needed to mythologize themselves as gods while doing it.
III. The Me Generation: It Wasn’t Just a Nickname
This isn’t revisionism. This was widely acknowledged in real time.
In the 1970s, media critics labeled Boomers “The Me Generation” for their obsession with self-actualization, personal growth seminars, and consumer spirituality. Tom Wolfe, writing in 1976, captured it best:
“They took their inherited wealth and turned inward—narcissistically, therapeutically, and entrepreneurially.”
The Boomers didn’t just want to change the world.
They wanted to be seen changing it.
And when it got hard, they stopped trying and took a bath in essential oils instead.
IV. From Revolutionaries to Real Estate Vampires
How did the Woodstock generation become the HOA Karen squad?
They sold out—aggressively and early. Here’s the arc:
1960s: Protesters.
1970s: Therapists.
1980s: Yuppies.
1990s: Culture cops.
2000s: Fox News fanatics.
2010s: Facebook boomers posting Minion memes about how no one wants to work anymore.
They went from marching against Vietnam to cheering on Iraq. From “make love, not war” to “build the damn wall.” From sexual liberation to pearl-clutching over drag brunches. And somehow, they’re still the main characters in American media.
The generational narcissism didn’t age—it metastasized.
V. Institutions Hollowed from the Inside Out
Let’s inventory the wreckage.
Higher Ed:
They got near-free college. Now it’s a debt trap. Why?
Boomers turned university budgets into administrative swamps and prestige arms races. They cut funding, raised tuition, and blamed students for borrowing.
Housing:
They bought cheap, watched values soar, then slammed the regulatory door on future buyers.
NIMBYism is a Boomer religion.
Healthcare:
Medicare for them. Sky-high premiums for everyone else.
Boomers privatized care, corporatized hospitals, and turned healing into billing.
Media:
They deregulated ownership (thanks, Reagan) and let six companies devour the airwaves.
Now they blame “the media” for not representing them—when they are the media.
The Environment:
They started Earth Day.
Then spent 40 years voting for politicians who gutted the EPA and ignored climate science.
VI. "I Got Mine": The Unofficial Boomer Slogan
Every Boomer policy move is a variation of this phrase. Social programs? Only if they qualify.
Taxes? Only if they don’t pay them.
Student loans? Pay up. But PPP loans? Forgiven.
And the worst part? They demand reverence for what they did in the '60s as moral cover for the damage they did afterward.
You smoked weed and marched in the street in 1968.
Then you bought stock in Raytheon and called it retirement planning.
Pick a lane.
VII. Aging Is Not the Villain—They Are
Some will say, “Well, all old people become conservative. You’re just mad at time.”
Bullshit.
The Silent Generation got old too. They faded quietly, with humility.
Gen X is aging into skepticism and burnout, but not delusion.
Boomers are different.
They don’t just fear irrelevance.
They rage against it.
They inject their faces, hoard the spotlight, and sue their grandkids over inheritance disputes—then post about how kids don’t respect elders anymore.
They are not aging.
They are curdling.
VIII. The Grievance Feedback Loop
Nothing thrives on victimhood like a Boomer with a Facebook account.
“Kids these days don’t want to work.”
“No one respects police anymore.”
“Pronouns? Back in my day…”
Back in your day, people thought asbestos was a miracle material and beat their kids in public.
Maybe don’t talk about “back in your day” like it was Eden.
They watch cable news for 6 hours a day, get scared of a Black mermaid, and vote accordingly.
Then they ask why younger people seem so angry.
We’re angry because we’re still cleaning up the mess you made while you’re bitching about how fast we’re doing it.
IX. The Political Boomerang
They voted in Reagan.
They slashed taxes on the rich.
They gutted the safety net.
They allowed corporations to rewrite the rules.
And now, at the end of it all, they’re asking for help—demanding Medicare stay untouched, pensions remain fat, and no cuts to Social Security.
They built the world they wanted.
They just assumed they’d never have to live in it.
X. The Final Betrayal: Climate
This is the generational original sin.
Boomers knew.
Scientists were warning about CO₂ in the '80s. The Exxon memos. The climate models. The chance to transition.
They ignored it all.
Because oil money was too good, and change was too hard.
Now the planet’s burning, and they’re still driving RVs that get 6 miles to the gallon to Arizona retirement communities with golf courses that use more water than an African village.
And when asked to make sacrifices?
“I’m not giving up my gas stove.”
They would rather scorch the Earth than adjust their lifestyle.
XI. “We Did Our Best”: The Ultimate Lie
No, you didn’t.
You did your best for yourselves.
You cared about your jobs, your stock portfolios, your property values, your Medicare coverage, your tax shelters.
But you didn’t plan.
You didn’t steward.
You didn’t give a damn what the world would look like after you were gone.
And now? You’re not gone.
You’re still running the show.
Still clinging to power in Congress, on boards, in classrooms, in media—refusing to retire, refusing to mentor, refusing to move the fuck on.
XII. Can Anything Be Salvaged?
Sure. Not every Boomer is a villain. Some fought the good fight, stayed principled, passed the torch.
But as a generation, Boomers failed the test of legacy.
They were handed the most prosperous society in history and burned it for heat while asking the rest of us why we’re cold.
They will tell you they tried.
They will tell you they sacrificed.
But what they actually did was convert a shared inheritance into a gated community.
XIII. The Gadfly’s Final Word
History will not be kind to the Boomers.
It shouldn’t be.
They were born into glory and died clutching grievances.
They were given a mandate to lead and turned it into a mandate to hoard.
They could have been stewards.
They chose to be landlords.
And now we live in the house they neglected.
So the next time a Boomer tells you how hard they had it, hand them a mirror and a copy of your rent bill.
Tell them thanks for the trauma—and the trickle-down lies.
Tell them your avocado toast costs $14 because they sold the farm.
And if they try to talk over you?
Let them.
They won’t be here much longer.
But the smoke will be.
Signed,
The American Gadfly
Provoker-in-Chief.
Gen-X-Millennial cusper with an axe to grind and the receipts to match.
