The Battle of The Beards: The American Gadfly vs The Beard Lawyer
BEARD VS. BEARD: THE LEGAL SHOWDOWN OF THE CENTURY
**This Saturday¹ in the Court of Public Opinion**
**THE AMERICAN GADFLY** vs. **THE BEARD LAWYER**
*Two Beards Enter. One Beard Leaves Victorious.*
**IN THE RED, WHITE & BLUE CORNER:**
Standing 6 feet tall, but his driver's license says 5'11 because he likes to under promise and over deliver… with a business degree and nothing to lose...
He is from Houston, Texas, fighting out of Portland, Oregon, for the people of Montana…
Armed with documented evidence and First Amendment fury...
The retail warrior, the inheritance avenger, the autistic assassin of legal intimidation...
**THE AMERICAN GADFLY!**
**IN THE SUITED CORNER:**
Weighing in at 27,000 Instagram followers...
Fighting out of Scottsdale, Arizona with cease and desist letters...
The social media sensation of cease and desist...
The influencer of intimidation, the sultan of scary letterhead...
**THE BEARD LAWYER!**
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**TALE OF THE TAPE:**
- **Gadfly:** Pro se, no legal fees, unlimited time
- **Beard:** Licensed attorney, billing hourly, reputation at stake
**THE STAKES:**
- First Amendment rights
- Family inheritance
- Professional reputation
- Beard supremacy
**MATCH RULES:**
- No holds barred discovery
- Anti-SLAPP motions permitted
- Truth remains an absolute defense
- Jurisdiction already waived
*Will Instagram followers overcome documented evidence?*
*Can cease and desist letters defeat constitutional rights?*
*Who has the superior beard strategy?*
*And Who will be going home babyfaced?
**BE THERE** as legal precedent gets set!
**WITNESS** the clash of business education vs. law degree!
**EXPERIENCE** the ultimate settlement showdown!
*Card subject to change if parties enter Rule 408 protected discussions*
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¹Saturday deadline has already passed. No response received. Gadfly wins by technical forfeit?
