How to Tell When Someone is Lying: Behavioral, Verbal, and Psychological Cues

By Michael Kelman Portney

I. Introduction

Some lies are harmless. Others are corrosive, costly, or criminal. Whether you're confronting someone in a personal dispute, evaluating testimony, or watching an interview on TV, the ability to spot deception is more valuable than ever. But most people get it wrong.

We’re told to look for shifty eyes, fidgeting, or nervous tics. The truth is more subtle—and more interesting. Modern psychological research reveals that most deception is exposed not by the lie itself, but by the friction it creates in the liar. The contradictions. The gaps. The inconsistencies. The tells.

This post is not about becoming a human lie detector. It's about recognizing patterns, learning how deceptive people manage their stories, and using calm, strategic listening to let truth reveal itself. You’ll learn what deception looks like—not on TV, but in real life.

Whether you’re an attorney, a journalist, a juror, or just someone who wants to get better at reading people, this is your playbook.

II. The Psychology of Lying

Lying is hard. That’s why it leaves a trace.

Cognitive Load

Lying creates more cognitive demand than truth-telling. This is the foundation of cognitive load theory. A liar has to fabricate events, keep the timeline straight, remember who knows what, suppress their real memory, and manage their tone and facial expressions. It’s a juggling act. And the more balls in the air, the higher the chance one will drop.

The average person tells the truth from memory. The liar has to build a lie from scratch and rehearse it on the fly. That’s why they often sound slow, indirect, or over-prepared.

Emotional Leakage

Lying also comes with an emotional cost. Guilt, shame, fear of getting caught—these emotions create pressure. That pressure leaks out through body language, tone, and even microexpressions. The bigger the lie, the bigger the strain. And strain leads to signals.

Deviation from Baseline

The most important truth about lying is this: there is no universal cue. You must compare the person to themselves. Someone who normally talks with their hands might suddenly sit still. Someone who is usually verbose might get quiet. The cues come from the change.

III. Verbal Cues and Linguistic Patterns

Words are the sharpest instruments liars use. But language leaves fingerprints.

A. Hedging and Qualifiers

These are phrases liars use to buffer themselves from the risk of direct statements:

• "To be honest..."

• "As far as I remember..."

• "If I'm being totally transparent..."

These qualifiers sound virtuous, but they’re often used to pad uncertainty. A truth-teller just tells. A liar adds scaffolding.

B. Passive Voice and Linguistic Distancing

This is when the speaker detaches themselves from the action:

• “Mistakes were made.”

• “The documents went missing.”

Notice how no one takes ownership. It’s subtle, but powerful. Liars often remove themselves from the center of the sentence.

C. Over-Explanation

Liars overcompensate. They think you won’t believe them, so they dump details:

• “We went to the diner. It was around 7:23, I think, because the gas station next door had just changed their prices. I got eggs. The scrambled kind. Not fried.”

The problem is, the story’s too clean. It’s preloaded. Truth is messy and casual. Lies are polished and overworked.

D. Evasive Non-Answers

Liars dodge the question without you noticing:

• Q: “Did you see him that night?”

• A: “I wasn’t trying to see anyone. That whole week was chaos.”

No denial. Just words.

IV. Nonverbal Cues and Body Language

Body language is noisy, but it’s part of the signal. Especially when paired with speech.

Microexpressions

These are fleeting facial expressions—half a second or less—that leak out before the brain can filter them. A flash of fear, disgust, or contempt when denying wrongdoing is a red flag.

Incongruence

This is when someone’s face, body, or voice contradicts their words:

• Saying “yes” while subtly shaking their head “no.”

• Smiling while describing something tragic.

The body tells the truth before the words catch up.

Grooming & Pacifying Behavior

Touching the face. Playing with a watch. Tugging at sleeves. These movements regulate stress. Liars under pressure often can’t stay still.

The Freeze

Oddly enough, some liars do the opposite. They lock up. No movement. Stiff posture. Blank face. That’s called a freeze response—and it’s a major cue when someone who’s usually expressive suddenly goes robotic.

Baseline Drift

Again: if someone is always fidgety, fidgeting is meaningless. The real cue is deviation from what’s normal for them.

V. Strategic Questioning Techniques

You don’t need to play detective. Just be calm, curious, and a little persistent.

A. Establish a Baseline

Ask unrelated, harmless questions at the start. “How was your weekend?” “What did you have for lunch?” Pay attention to voice, tone, pacing, and body movement. You now have a comparison set.

B. Specificity Over Generality

Truth loves detail. Ask for times, names, smells, colors. Vague answers to sharp questions are a red flag.

C. Ask the Same Question Twice

Liars build stories forward. They don’t memorize them backwards. Ask:

• “Who was there?”

• “And earlier, who had arrived first?”

Do this again later. If the story shifts? You’ve got a problem.

D. Interrupt the Script

Ask unexpected or offbeat questions:

• “What was the weather like that day?”

• “What shoes were you wearing?” Liars can’t handle curveballs. They break rhythm.

E. The Repetition Trap

If someone dodges your yes-or-no question, wait. Then ask it again—same words. Silence is pressure. Truth survives pressure. Lies deflect.

VI. Case Studies and Real-World Examples

Let’s apply this.

1. The Corporate Scandal

An executive is asked if they were aware of internal reports. He says:

“To my knowledge, those concerns were being handled.”

That’s hedging (“to my knowledge”), passive voice (“were being handled”), and evasion (not a yes or no). Multiply those cues—you're in deception territory.

2. The Office Lie

Coworker says they worked late. You ask, “Who was here when you left?” They answer:

“I stayed till around 8, just getting caught up. I didn’t really pay attention to who else was around. I was in my zone.”

Again—no names, no specifics, and distancing language. People who tell the truth remember context.

3. The “Laura” Scenario (Real example)

You ask a lawyer if they were the person referenced in a billing entry. She replies:

“I can’t tell you if it did or didn’t. That was in January. I don’t keep emails that long.”

That’s evasive language, temporal distancing (“that was in January”), and a false premise (emails from 8 months ago aren’t “old”). She never denies. She also contradicts herself later in writing. That’s what lying looks like—subtle, inconsistent, dodgy.

VII. Written and Recorded Deception

Written language strips away tone and body language, but it adds a new dimension: editing. Liars who write are trying to look clean.

Watch for:

• Shifts in tone midway through the message

• Unnecessary qualifiers: “Honestly,” “To be fair,” “In my experience…”

• Vagueness where detail should exist

• Hyper-clarity where none is needed (overwritten alibis)

• Distancing pronouns (“That person” vs. “She” or “I”)

In recorded calls? Listen for:

• Breath changes

• Awkward pauses after direct questions

• Sudden pitch lifts or vocal fry when pressed

Combine this with transcript analysis and you get a powerful lens for detecting dishonesty.

VIII. Conclusion

Lies are rarely revealed by a single sentence. But they leave fingerprints—on word choice, pacing, posture, and silence. When someone avoids denial, when they contradict themselves mid-story, when they stall or overly polish — those are your tells.

The art of spotting deception isn’t about magic. It’s about attention. It’s about hearing what isn’t said, seeing what doesn’t match, and asking the right questions twice.

Because liars improvise. The truth doesn’t have to.